The early days of parenthood are such a weird time. I remember being overwhelmed with love and joy and happiness, but also being so crushingly tired that I felt like my brain had melted. My memories are blurry and probably quite selective these days: snapshots in my head formed from photos and favourite anecdotes, but pleasingly sentimental. The years were hard, but bloomin' lovely overall.
So was great to be able to take part in an exhibition on the theme of Parenthood with other members of the Parents of Small Biz: a support network of similarly tired, self-employed souls, who meet semi-regularly to discuss anything from a toddler's first steps to big business milestones and everything in between.
The Parents of Small Biz are a multi-talented bunch and this is reflected in the exhibition, with poetry, paintings, photography, screenprints and textiles all on display. I painted an abstract representation of parenthood (basically a load of chaos on paper in gouache with a quote in the middle) and I also wrote a poem. This is new territory for me - and it makes me feel quite vulnerable to share it, but it's always good to do things that scare us, no?
Babygrow
I found your first babygrow today,
the white one with the polka dots
that I bought in Mothercare
(when white baby clothes seemed like a good idea)
and suddenly
I was back in the days
of tired eyes and sleepy snuggles
and blowing bubbles
and it reminded me
how tiny your hand felt
wrapped round my finger
and the little snuffles
you made when you slept.
And I remembered the 3am feeds
and the caffeine
and the caffeine
and all the caffeine
and the time you finally slept through the night.
I remembered the tears and the darkness
and the bone-crushing tiredness,
but also the lightness of morning cuddles
and the white-blonde curls on the back of your head
and bedtime stories of snails and whales
and the pins and needles
from building spaceships on the floor
and the heap of sticks by the front door
and the hours spent watching Hey Duggee
and the exhaustion
but also the exhilaration
of being your Mummy.
And it reminded me of a quote I rolled my eyes at
years ago now,
One day you will miss today
And I really do.
- Jules Birkby
And here's the painting that accompanies it:
The Parenthood exhibition is currently on at Left Bank in Leeds until September 8th. You can buy a print of the One day you will miss today painting by clicking here >>>
